so I bought my mom this cup with a hot dude having coffee because my mom is fun and i thought this might like her.
BUT THEN I SERVE MYSELF COFFEE IN IT AND TURNS OUT THAT WHEN THE CUP GETS HOT
THE DUDE LOSES HIS PANTS AND THAT’S COFFEE AND PORN AND I DONT KNOW WHAT KIND OF SORCERY THIS IS!
the worst fucking thing about school is that they make you think that that’s all there is in the world and you get all anxious and worked up and depressed over fucking grades and classes and homework that you lose sight of the fact that you’re still so young and there are endless avenues and possibilities of places to end up and things to do
fucking thank you
I don’t get these posts that go like “part of me wants to be a hot girl at the bar and the other part of me wants to read and sip tea in a bookstore”
like you can wear red lipstick and a leather jacket and sip tea and dance in the rain and go to the gym and curl up in bed and get turnt the fuck up and go to church
you can literally have it all sis
the world is yours
This is the most inspiring thing I have ever read
basically my life can be summed up in alternating periods of Linda Belcher’s “Alriiiiight!” and Bob Belcher’s “Oh my god”
getting jealous over someone who isn’t even yours
Beyonce makes me wanna go get ready for no reason
When the cashier hold’s up your $20 to see if it’s real
Well fucking excuse me for not wanting to be fucking fired for taking in a fake bill. Seriously you know how many fake bills we…
Actually I find it annoying when people do that tbh… its always “I just printed that this morning” and its agitating because in the neighborhood I work… you can’t tell.
We are required to check $50s and $100s where I work and occasionally $20s if there’s been an issue in the area. One time I had a smart mouth teen use the “I just printed it this morning” line. I inspected it for a second (it was real) and handed it back, informing her that it was still wet and she should really make sure it was dry before trying to use. The look of sheer panic was completely worth the hassle.
in case you were having a bad day, here’s a picture of Yo-Yo Ma, the famous cellist, on the floor of a bathroom with a wombat